September 9, 2011

Distraction City

The main thing I have felt compelled to do this week is play music. I've been dancing in the apartment, head banging with my hands over my headphones. I have also been taking fast walks through the neighborhood with my iPod shuffle, pretending I don't hear or see the men who call out to me.

On Monday, I walked all the way home, pretty damn drunk to be honest, at two in the morning because I missed the last bus. Then on Tuesday, I had a dissertation interview, scheduled weeks ago. I pulled it together and it went fine.

When I lived closer to the university, I used to go running late at night and it felt amazing. I stopped when I moved to the city because it didn't feel safe. I would really like to start again -- maybe it would be okay.

One thing that's different is that it's getting cold here now. It's down to the 50s at night, and for the first time in months, I'm not too hot at night. I spent so many nights feeling sweaty and itchy that I forgot how it feels to really sleep when I'm comfortable.

I haven't seen any bed bugs since I've moved, but it's still early yet. 60 days is when you can feel somewhat safe. Then in 18 months, I can open the ziplock bags I brought from my old apartment.

In other news, my ex-landlord is withholding my security deposit. I have decided to fight him for it.

When my head is spinning and I can't focus for anything, the one thing I can do is my little RA job. Not my original summer job where the professor disappeared -- she still hasn't contacted me (what gives?) -- but my other job for my advisor. It's because it doesn't involve writing, so loud music doesn't slow me down. Today I actually made a lot of progress.

Tomorrow and the next day I have plans, though.

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