April 3, 2010

Car accident

So, I got into a car accident yesterday. My fault. Nobody got hurt, so it's purely a financial crisis.

I had a meeting with one of my advisors later that day. I told him about the accident when I called and explained why I would be late. When I met with him, all flustered and anxious about the accident, he told me, "You know, life happens. These things happen."

Sometimes I feel like bad things are always happening to me. But maybe I have a normal amount of problems. Maybe breaking my foot, getting an expensive parking ticket, an ex harassing me, income taxes I can't pay, credit card debt, and a car accident are a normal amount of problems for an adult.

The thing is, most of those problems are 100x worse because I don't have any money. Every time something happens that costs me money, I feel sick and angry, and I have a hard time sleeping because I am so worried about money.

This is one of the hardest parts of grad school. Especially now that I'm in a good place with my dissertation, my finances are my biggest problem and the biggest source of stress in my life.

Also, I love you all, but please don't suggest how I could be dealing with it better (why don't you get a loan, etc) -- I'm aware of all of my options, I think about this stuff constantly, and I'm dealing with it as best as I can.


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