Hello internet

Until yesterday, I had about 15 readers per day. Then a link from the wonderful blog Eschaton brought 10,000 people to my little blog, and over 100 people have commented on my Three Feminist Rants.

I read all of the comments, and I appreciate those who have expressed support. Rather than wading into the comments myself I thought I would just respond to a few points in a new post.

In response to rant #1 - Someone suggested I will miss catcalls when I am old. Someone else asked why I don't just thank catcallers for the compliment and explain that I'm "already dating." I ignore catcalls because most of the time, I don't believe they are a sincere effort to date me but rather an effort to make me uncomfortable. The one I quoted, "Hey there gorgeous," is fairly benign, but I regularly hear unsolicited comments about my legs, ass, and tits, when I am just walking to the post office. Because of this, any unsolicited comment about my appearance reminds me that men own the streets in my neighborhood, that they can objectify and degrade and humiliate me in public, and I can't do anything but keep walking. Maybe you are a genuinely nice guy who means "gorgeous" as a sincere compliment, but the place for those lines is a bar, not the streets of a neighborhood where women are harassed every day.

In response to rant #2 - In this rant, I was expressing frustration that being a woman means I am regularly advised to restrict my movements in ways that are completely unreasonable (don't go out alone after dark), or take safety precautions that are impossible (always have a man with you).

I am also frustrated that in our society the responsibility for preventing sexual assault falls to women, who are advised to avoid showing skin, to avoid certain streets, and otherwise avoid tempting men to hurt them. The implication is that when something happens to a woman, she is partly to blame because she stupidly walked down the wrong street in the wrong outfit. That's depressing to me, so I was ranting about it.

I did not say that I regularly skip past drug dealers in miniskirts and dare them to assault me in a misguided attempt to prove a feminist point. I am always slightly anxious when I am outside by myself at night, and I do avoid certain streets.

What I said was, "I will go out when I want." I don't hide in my apartment. When my work, my friends, or my activities keep me out late, I walk back to my apartment in the dark -- because the alternative is having no life at all. I live like any normal adult, coming and going regardless of whether it's dark outside.

In response to rant #3 - This was mainly a point about the athlete's choice of words. I am tired of some men pretending they just wish a woman would "take care of herself" -- being good to herself and staying healthy -- when they really mean, "I want you to stay skinny, wear makeup, and dress pretty because that's what I find attractive."

I didn't ask anyone to be attracted to women who are overweight or indifferent to fashion -- you can be attracted to whatever you want -- just to stop pretending that "looking sexy for me" is the same as "taking care of yourself." For many women, restricting food to become skinny is unhealthy, while true self-care would mean eating healthy for its own sake and accepting an imperfect body. And while I happen to love fashion and makeup, women who don't like those things should do whatever makes them comfortable -- and they shouldn't be accused of tragically neglecting themselves.