SOL

My funding runs out in June, and I was hoping to teach a summer class to support myself over the summer. I've been nervous about summer money forever, but I've been waiting to pester the department about it because I didn't want to ask too early and have my request get lost.

Then I found out today that they already filled all of the spots. Apparently you had to apply in the fall (!), but of course nobody sent out this information. Opportunities were quietly directed to favored students as usual. So I'm facing an income of $0 with no opportunity to teach.

So, um,

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

I suppose this is one of those valuable lessons about how "you have to be early!" but the way things run around here, it was unfathomable to me that they would already be working on a schedule for summer. I was planning to be early and persistent, but I had no idea that "early" meant the fall.

I'm so nervous about how I'm going to pay my bills while I finish my dissertation... and I'm angry because I've been worried about this forever, but suddenly I'm "too late" when I had no idea what was going on.